Yes yes, I know I have not been blogging for a friggin’ long time, till the point that my personal blog alarm clock came to comment at my blog to urge me to blog. I did realize that I did not blog for a long long time though, but but but, my life is so boring for this past 2 weeks, and really, I just can’t fork out the time to blog either.
Ever since 2 weeks ago, after I took leave on a Tuesday due to my sickness, I came back on a Wednesday to find myself from lying on a beachside chair in some sunny, peaceful, windy sea side to facing a Tsunami the next thing. On the day that I was gone, something happened in site office. They realized that the codes they “threw” to me, has quite a lot of bugs in it, I always thought all I did is just to wait for my 2 months time to be up, and then I can happily leave my job and go for the other one. However, some random species / power out there in the universe (which is who / what people call God) is really trying the utmost best to make my life be anything else but happy and peaceful.
So here I am, telling and repeating myself no less than 1000 times to my dear sup that I don’t understand the codes, so there is NO way for me to settle the problems at all because if I don’t understand the codes, I don’t even understand the cause of the problem, and thus I cannot think of the solution, and thus the problem cannot be settled. I became more and more pissed of with myself for not being able to settle the problem, with the OT that I am going through everyday (there is no OT pay for your information), with me for not insisting on not leaving in 1 month’s time, which causes me to face all these problems now. Anyway, had been throwing my temper around in the office for those days, and obviously the number 1 victim is my poor sup. Now that when I think back, I kinda pity him, because he’s stuck between my boss and me, he cannot answer to my boss if I cannot finish the thing, but when he press me I only kept telling him to ask my boss to sack me.
Okay, I admit I was being very evil. Well, imagine you have to OT for 4 out of 5 days in a week, and there is no OT pay, and when I meant OT, I really worked from morning 9am, till night 8pm +, excluding the lunch time. In my whole life time, I have never use my brain for such a long time, to say that I never use my brain for a continuous of more than 8 hours is an overstatement, I think I never used my brain (I mean in such a draining brain power manner) for more than 4-5 hours before? To think that I have this first, second, third (x times) experience in this company, but in the end there is still no progress after so much hard work, and I got more and more tired recently. Especially with the condition of my back, I think it’s breaking soon haha.
Anyway, another reason why I’m blogging here, apart from because my personal blog alarm clock is urging me the second time, is because there is finally progress in my work. I got a conclusion that when you stare at codes for a long-enough-time, under stressful situations, you will understand it eventually, isn’t it amazing. With ideas from my sup, and my constant OT-ness and hard work, there is finally A method that can work, within this time, have tried a lot of other methods and all failed. I have this minor glitch today in the office, and as I went to answer nature’s call towards the end of the day, I finally came up with an idea to settle the problem, and hopefully it will work because it sounds very right to me theoretically.
One thing to note is I realized that when I am so damn stressed and depressed during this period, I don’t know what I could do to get rid of the bad feelings? I mean normally I solve problems by complaining to friends and people around me, it doesn’t help to repeat the same thing to the same people over and over again although the problem faced may not be the same everyday. Anyway, there are so many things that a person wants to say, and when that is the case, the ears might not be free. With a fast pace world like this, everybody have so much things to say, it’s not easy to find a good listener I guess. I ended up being the listener in the end, and that is not solving anything at all because I ended up being a rubbish bin? Oh well.
Okay, lemme see what else I have to update except for my stress in work. Hm, guess not, my in these past 2 weeks consist of just working and mapling. I guess will try to blog more recently to make up for this period of time that I didn’t blog.
PS : My ulcer is damn damn damn pain.