I think most of you guys know (or you don’t know), I’m a very whiny person. I like to whine about things a lot, especially when I’m particularly very angry about someone, something or overly-stressed, overly-depressed in some period. Well, if I could, I would like to whine while lying down, kicking my foot on the floor, spinning myself around on floor 360 degrees but of course I can’t do that, my mum will bring me to IMH straight away. So what I do is complain and whine about the thing that made me this upset.
I want to change this part of me, really. Especially when I saw people who keep complaining about the some things that make them very angry, and being the listening, I’m beginning to understand that it is pretty annoying when too much complaint has been heard. I tried to tone down a lot, because I obviously cut down a lot of whining as compared to how I did when I was still in Prestigious High School, but as I recalled how I was like a few weeks ago, I still think I should cut down even more. Of course this seems easier now because I am very calmed now, Hell is coming in less than a week time, I just hope that I can still maintain this zen-ness then.
Anyway, getting to the main part. I seldom go to FaceBook, the only reason why I will go as frequent as when you saw me there is because I’m playing this only one game called “CEO Dream” (Yeah, I’m still playing it). If not, I would rarely rarely go up there unless I receive notifications of people posting comments / posts on my wall. Even the posts I made in FaceBook is through Twitter, not directly through the web itself.
I have A LOT of people (and when I say A LOT, it’s really a lot, it might take up more than half of the people in the website) which I really want to delete in FaceBook. Why? Because some of them are people I don’t even want to say I know them, and they are definitely the kind if I saw them on the streets 100m away and if I know it’s them I will turn in another direction and go off. Or if it really comes down to the situation where it’s too late to move any direction, I would just pray in my heart 10000 times that they didn’t see me. These people takes up half of the people I want to delete. The other half is those that I knew them very very long time ago, like when I was still separating myself from Earthlings and living in my own lalaland, so even if I saw them on the streets and recognize them, I wouldn’t say Hi to them and I doubt they even know who I am since they have like 2134 people on their FaceBook.
Why am I not deleting them? Besides the fact that it’s very troublesome to take that 15 minutes of my life (this takes up 20% of my reluctance), the real reason is because when I do that, it makes me look bad, like I’m some psycho freak who suddenly just delete so many people from her list, Hell knows if those deleted people will know whether I have deleted them or not but I still feel bad and guilty (even though I am not even committing any crime). Which is the reason why they are still on my list, which contributes to the biggest reason why I start to hate FaceBook a lot.
You see, all those of you who have been reading my blog, been seeing me for this recent period and heard me whine about things would know how stress I really am in this company my friend started, because the company literally composes of only 2 of us. So in the midst of the busy-ness and stress-ness, I go to FaceBook for my game and then I will see some posts under “Top News” or “Most Recent” which involve people going overseas to have fun, stressing over nonsensical stuffs like whether he like her, or she like him or he don’t like her or she don’t like him or whoever like whatever, writing emo stuffs that are so abstract and it just sounds like because they are so damn free they had nothing else better to do. (Ah it sounds like I’m whining again OOPS! Oh well) The worst is you when you see bimbos spend money like it’s Hell money and they don’t even have to work hard for it, FaceBook is like helping me to see how miserable I really am man.
Anyway, point is, I really am going mad over these kind of posts. I know, I’m trying really hard to not see them nowadays. But sometimes I just go to FaceBook in a daze and habitually I would scroll down to see people’s statuses (trying really hard to stop it now). If FaceBook is making me anymore pissed off than now, I’m really going to just delete it.
Oh if you guys don’t understand how come I’m so mad over this kind of things (maybe cuz you still don’t know what a person I really am) is because I’m the kind of person that when he feels miserable, he will wish the whole world to perish with him, this explains a lot I think. To put it even more simply, 愤世嫉俗 is the word.
When you see people on FaceBook, don’t you sometimes think that everybody is like moving forward, they changed so much but yet you’re still like the same as how you were when you know them. ~_~
“My brother asked me what I want for my birthday, camera or IPhone 4. I said IPhone 4 but what I really want is a camera, but I haven’t decide which model I want yet. Oh well, I will just settle for an IPhone 4 then.”
*Above text is not exactly the same as what was written, but the exact meaning is there, am dead serious.