I need something

I’m really frigging frigging frigging (x 1,000,000 times) bored at home. I never felt so bored at home slacking. Sigh. I really wish I had a windows com with me. At least then I would be able to get some online game and go back to the good old days of sticking my face to the screen like 16/7 everyday.

I don’t have a windows com, my acer laptop breaking down at the worst timing possible. I can’t do anything with my damn mac, I have never regretted any decision I’ve made this much as buying this stupid com which is not cheap (and let’s not talk about the price at all, because it will make me triple depressed as I am already). The only GOOD thing about having mac is when you’re doing artsy stuffs (which I don’t really know exactly what) or just need to do a lot of typing, like people who are in the mass comm / business courses. Definitely, not people like me. I do all the shits on windows OS, and the only thing that really made me tempted to buy mac is cuz of the xCode (which I really really would rather not to be involved with anymore). I think the 3 months memory that I had in ST as my internship doing apple applications led me to quite like mac applications (because didn’t really do much). Then when I really do this as my career, hate is not the word to describe how I felt.

For the 10 thousandth time in my life (or maybe a little lesser), I’m regretting quitting ST. I kept doing stupid decisions ever since I left my primary school (which is selected by my parents), and then I kept doing nonsense decisions after then. And since my primary school is chosen by my parents, it meant that I never actually made a correct decision in my life.

I went into Presbyterian High. Had 2 fun(consider?) years in my secondary 1 and 2 class. Suffered like as though I was in 18th level of Hell for the next 2, regretting and thinking to my self why the *$&@)$* I actually chose this school.

Picked Digital Entertainment Technology, coming out from the course thinking why did I chose this course because this course gets you to be proficient in C++ programming language AND it’s actually frigging hard to find a job when you only those this few programming languages. What I really wanted is the languages for web programming (then again, I only knew this when I graduated. Sigh).

Hired into ST after my internship ended. Thought that other jobs would be more fun and exciting (and that’s completely utter bullshit), left the company and landed myself into a shit hole.

I’m stuck with this super ugly resume, because I kept joining and leaving companies. A sucky results which can get me nowhere in local universities because I have to get like 3.5 and above GPA to GET into one. Stuck with computer languages that are seriously damn hard to get a job unless I hold a degree. Friends and families are all pre-occupied with their own school and work stuffs and I have like nothing to do and nothing much to talk about with people. Ended up being a trash bin for people’s problems, when I myself already had so much frustrations, and complaining is not getting my anywhere because there’s nothing that can be helped.

Really. If you think your life is like a shit in a hole, buried deep deep, get stomped by a trillion elephants on top and rotting in the depths of the deepest level of Hell. Think twice, I don’t think your life is more fucked up than mine.

I don’t want comments. Just leave this post be.

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