Immortals – Movie

I didn’t really wanted to watch this show. No, I wanted to but at the same time I don’t want to. I’m really quite against shows that are M18 and R21, unless it’s the you-know-what kind. I have always wanted to watch 300, because it seems like the kind of show when you’re watching, you really feel like shouting along with them, but I didn’t went to watch and have regretted since then. So I went ahead to watch this when my friend said she wanna to watch it.

I feel like, I’m watching a show that consist of a few humans and millions of jellies, with more juice, and more jelly pieces. And juices. And jelly pieces. More juices. More jelly pieces. And jellies. And juices. Juices. Jellies. Okay stop. It’s amazing how much liquids are shown in the show. If 300 was another jellies and juices show, I think it might not be worth watching it, though I am still curious.

Don’t think any of you are going to watch it anyway, so I’m going to reveal some spoilers here. There are a lot of parts of the film which don’t really make sense to me. So there’s this evil bastard who decides to kill all jellies (and gods?) because the gods didn’t answer his prayers for saving his wife and children (and nothing more was told about this anymore, we only know they’re dead). So he decided to get this random Bow thing which will be able to release a bunch of things called “Titans” which gives off the impression that these things are like some Transformers beings. If everybody in reality thinks like this guy does, I think our humanity would be bombed like 10 million times because few people actually strike 4D/Toto.

Okay, fine, let’s overlook this point and look at this other point. The Transformers-like beings are being trapped in this random mountain like just in front of the capital of Greece ( in some b.c year), in this random jail-cell like thingy, with this random pole which they are all biting in their mouths. So this jail like cell thing is square and the Transformers are standing in either 4×5 or 5×5, side by side and line by line. Have no idea why are they biting on to the pole, maybe to give off the feel that they are bound in that random place. Titans were once immortals, like the Gods, but because they were evil or what (maybe caught watching porn) and then banished into that jail cell to bite on the poles and labelled as Titans aka Transformers. So as they were saying, if Titans were released, the Gods and jellies would be in danger. Which we later find out, it’s not really the case at all, the Gods kinda seems super imba, like a Transformer that has transformed and kill off other Transformers that haven’t transformed. Then as the fight ensues, we see a few of the Gods starting to die. Then, something that’s really puzzling happened. The Zeus (leader of Gods) jumped on to the random jail cell where there are actually 2 random rope like thingies strapped on to the sides of the mountains. So what he does is, he pulled the ropes, the whole mountain collapsed, and all Transformers died.

He could have like done this 1 million years ago right? Why keep them confined within that random jail cell, forcing them to bite the pole? Weird. Some fetish, maybe. And he sacrificed like 4 other Gods while fighting the Transformers (including his daughter). Oh, and amazingly, I told you guys I saw like 4×5 and 5×4 Titans inside right. While fighting, I swear, we were shown like > 15 Transformers-jellies being killed, and yet there are still more Transformers-jellies.

I guess the reasons why I don’t really like watching gruesome shows is cuz :

  • I tends to actually imagine myself in that situation and feel the fear and pain the victim at that time was feeling
  • I would think what I’d do if I was in that person’s shoes and what would happen if I did what I am thinking

There’s a lot of brave people in this show who no matter what, does not succumbs to the threat of the evil bastard. The priest even slice off his own tongue just so that evil bastard would not get anything out of him. I seriously salutes this guy man. I wish war will never come, I’ll seriously feel like this goldfish being thrown into the sea filled with crocodiles, sharks and piranhas. And, don’t even talk about fighting in the war, I can’t even keep a secret man. Point a knife anywhere near my body, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.

And when I was watching this scene where the jellies were being pounded in jelly pieces during the final war, and the protagonist was bravely chionging at the front, smashing whatever jellies and puddings that were in his way. I thought, “what if actually the puddings and jellies in front wanted to avoid him, but he just kept smashing ’em?” “What would happen to me if I was in front of him and I BADLY want to just skip to the side?”. Then I finally came with the conclusion that I would just take that round shield thing given to me, find a spot in the corner corner, cover the shoe over my body, smear people’s blood all over myself and lie on the ground praying to Gods that nobody will notice me and for the thing to finish.

Side note : the people who have helped the protagonist ended up dead, and the oracle priestess got pregnant with his kid, but he was the only one who joined the Gods in the end. Wth?

Anyway. Point is, this show wasn’t really worth watching at all. I really curious about 300 now.

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3 thoughts on “Immortals – Movie

  1. HAHHAHAHAHAH
    your summary very farnie.

    anyway all you need to know about 300 is that at some point the leader yells, THIS. IS. SPARTAAAA!! *kick*
    cos he doesnt wanna give in to some big country. and then they fight fight fight fight for the rest of the movie, in a very gritty and we’re-very-cool way.
    END OF STORY.

    1. no there’s really a lot of loopholes in that movie, TOTALLY don’t make sense at all. it’s just unnecessary gruesome killings.
      I think 300 would definitely be nicer, even the speech given by the protagonist for the final battle wasn’t even inspiring. I guess cuz of his voice.

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