As mentioned in the title. I just went for a swim just now. The last that I went swimming, is like 1 year+++ ago. And I went with my mum and aunt then, so, what’s the difference between going for a swim alone and going with companions?
Not knowing the procedure of going to swim.
I am a programmer. Yet I felt like a caveman man. First I couldn’t try to get my admission ticket thingy. I pressed the “Adult” button, and nothing happened. So I tried to insert coin first, which couldn’t go in because I didn’t press the button. Turned around to see if anybody is seeing how retarded I am. There is 1 person, but not looking at me. Pressed the “Adult” button again, and thankfully the coin can go in now. Inserted a 1 dollar coin, coin refused to totally go in, can somebody like oil the entrance so coins can go in easier? Tried pushing the coin in, still stuck, no long nails to push in. Feels retarded. Look back again to see if the guy noticed how retarded I am. The guy IS looking at me, telling me to press the button. Told him that I pressed it already but he don’t understand. Took out a 50 cents coin to desperately try to push the 1 dollar coin in. Worked. Felt fireworks blasting behind in the background. The guy came out from the room and I told him it worked, told him the coin is stuck, not because I didn’t press the button, so that he wouldn’t think that I’m a total caveman.
Okay, move on.
Change into my swimwear. Use the locker for the first time in my life, cuz it’s like the first time in my life that I actually swimmed alone. Stuffed all the shit into the locker, hoping that I have two 20 cents coin cuz you know, the locker need two 20 cents coins. I have such a high degrees on both eyes, I need to squint so hard to look for the 20 cents coins. During which I gave up, and then I take out my specs to look for coins instead. Desperately looking for the coins with a wallet and a goggles in my hand, and then I found the 2 holy 20 cents coins, more firework effects in the background.
Instructions to use the locker as below :
- Open the locker entrance
- Put your shits inside
- Insert the coins
- Close the entrance
- Twist and take out the key
Step 1-4 checked, which means specs is off, stuck at step 5. Couldn’t manage to lock the stupid door at all. Moving on to try another locker, during which I have to take out my stupid specs again. Desperately fumbling around for more coins. Turns out, I really only have the 2 holy coins. Forced to ask a random guy beside me if he have coins, waited for him to fumble around for his coins, andddddddd he doesn’t have it. Recommended that I go to guy at entrance to exchange instead.
I specially exchanged a 1 dollar coin just so that I can have 1 more try if the coins are swallowed again. I don’t wanna keep walking back and forth while carrying a bunch of shits in my swimsuit.
Go through Step 1-4 again, and then turns out, you know what? I think it wasn’t the locker that’s got the problem. It’s me. I put everything inside again, twisted the key around, still doesn’t work. Refuse to get help because I’d be a total caveman if I do so. Forcefully twisting the key and praying to whatever spiritual being is there to make this stupid thing work. Why? Because the swimsuit is clinging on to my fats and all I want is to DIVE INTO THE WATER TO COVER THAT UP MAN.
Okay. Then I heard a sound. It was at that moment, it’s like you look up and you see angels welcoming you into the entrance of Heaven. Yup, it was exaggerating, BUT, I did felt happy for a moment there. You don’t have to go around asking people how to use a locker man, I will totally look like a dork.
And then, my biggest road block happened. After taking out the key.. then what? I seriously stood and stared at the key for a while. While looking at both my hands, and looking at anywhere else on my body to see if I can keep the thing anywhere. Yeah…. nope.
So…. know what? I ended up swimming with the key in my left hand for the whole thing. While I’m free-styling, three fingers of my left hand is pressed against the key to my palm to prevent it from dropping, and.. it was hard man. Yet, I managed to do it. I’m pro man.
Sigh. While snail might be the slowest creature motioning around on land. I’m the sea snail man.