For some weird unknown reasons, my life’s been revolving around weird situations this couple of months. People who are acquainted with me are openly constructing friendship happily with a person I’ve kinda made public to them that I don’t like.
See, the likely conclusion that one might get is that I really hate this person, that’s the reason why I’m distancing myself away from the acquaintances. The problem is, I’ve always been a person who’s been extremely sensitive on friendship issues, I may have another ruler that’s used on my friends where I’m more tolerant or less tolerant towards them for something. But that’s for my friends, I have a shorter tolerance span for acquaintances. If my closer friends already knew the person I dislike before I do / dislike, I can’t do anything. If however, a person / friend / acquaintance knew I already dislike someone, and we both started bitching about this person, but in a snap of finger, the 2 of them suddenly become friends, is it not logical that I felt betrayal? It’s not because that I hate the person so much that I boycott whoever’s that’s around him / her, it’s the act of said friends that’s approaching people that they already know I dislike.
In said cases, I’ve already make it a point beforehand that I dislike a certain someone, and if people knowingly befriended that guy under this circumstances, it is likely that what I care about is none of their concern, and thus, to me, the mutual friendship can be nullified. It’s not possible for me to accept one who’s actually like BFF with someone that I dislike. That is just. not. possible.
So why bother asking for reason? It’s kinda like knowing that I dislike something and purposely doing it in front of me, made me riled up, and then ask my why can’t I like what they’re doing. Isn’t that very pointless?
I wouldn’t ask my acquaintances to stop befriending a person because of me. Because that’s not fair to them either, they could have seen a different side to the person I dislike. If someday, they should want to terminate their relationship to that someone, let the reason be for their own reason and not because of me. I don’t wanna be responsible for a decision someone made, because that is also very irresponsible – to be basing your decision on something another person told you, you’ve got to be responsible for your own decisions you know. Everybody have their choices to make, you’ve made yours, I’ve made mine. I can’t stop you from making yours, and vice versa. I can’t make another person choose who they want to be their friends, but I can choose who I want to, so this is it.
People who knows me, knows me. I’m pretty much just this way and unable to change, because I like this dysfunctional part of mine. I want my friends to accept me for who I am and don’t bother asking me to change, cuz I won’t.
I’m not pissed off nor emotional as I’m writing this as it’s been happening for a couple of months now, just kinda stating my point.